How To Pretend You're The Smartest Person in a Business Meeting

A list of things to sound smart in your next business meeting while saying absolutely nothing.

  1. The purpose of this interfacing is to generate some thought starters that’ll better leverage our vertical.

  2. What if we use big data to value add for our stakeholders?

  3. We need to jingle the gatekeeper and get the lay of the land.

  4. There’s not enough bandwidth. Not enough bandwidth!

  5. We really need to feed the gorilla.

  6. …without forgetting to roll the tortoise.

  7. We need to peel the onion on some sacred cows and let it drip.

  8. Oh, so we’re just gonna punt on our core competencies now?

  9. Uh, look, I think we’re forgetting to eat the frog.

  10. There’s not enough bandwidth. Not enough bandwidth.

  11. Take it offline.

  12. I don’t mean to polish your apple but I really think we should double down.

  13. Kudos.

  14. If we want leading edge ideation, we need to squeeze the sponge on personal capital.

  15. …remembering we’re trimming the fat.

  16. Hey, this isn’t my first rodeo.

  17. I know, just making sure we’re not trying to square the circle.

  18. Don’t square the circle.

  19. Never square the circle.

  20. Yeah, who’s squaring the circle?

  21. We should not be squaring the circle!

  22. This is my second rodeo!

  23. There’s not enough bandwidth!

  24. Let’s just go back to our offices and d-pad.

  25. What was that meeting about?

  26. Oh, tackling new markets.

  27. Marketplace integration, right?

  28. …widening product use.

  29. Business practices…

  30. Best practices…

  31. I can’t believe how much we’re paid.

Vote On These Worst Practices


Submit Evidence ~ School of Hard Knocks ~ Rank Pet Peeves ~ Shop

#etiquetteed #howtos #satire #comedy

Recent Evidence
Recent Etiquette Ed
Posts Are Coming Soon
Stay tuned...
You're Like Everyone Else, Different

You're Like Everyone Else, Different

Anthonism's quote, "You Are Just Like Everyone Else, Different." T-shirts available in many styles and colors. $30.95 (Zazzle usually has 15% off promos)

'Mind Your Manners!' Citation

'Mind Your Manners!' Citation

Fake Citation: You are hereby cited for violating social norms, disobeying codes of conduct, and committing acts of rudeness $7.00 + S/H

'My Mind Keeps Fcuknig With My Head'

'My Mind Keeps Fcuknig With My Head'

What's wrong with your thinking cap? Well, putting whether or not you're thinking straight aside, the brain is built to play tricks on you and this witty t-shirt design demonstrates one of the many mind numbing ways it does so. $35.95 (Zazzle usually has 15% off promos) In our Zazzle Store

The Network
Warning Label Mind Your Manners Rudeness reduction program is in full force
Featured Poll
  • Facebook App Icon
  • Twitter App Icon
  • Google+ App Icon
  • YouTube Classic
  • Instagram App Icon
  • Pinterest App Icon
  • RSS App Icon
Man's Marbles RSS Feed
  • w-facebook
  • Twitter Clean
  • Google+ Clean
  • YouTube - White Circle
  • Instagram Clean
  • Pinterest Clean
  • RSS Clean

© 2013-2018 Land of Lombardia, LLC