How To Pretend You're The Smartest Person in a Business Meeting

A list of things to sound smart in your next business meeting while saying absolutely nothing.

  1. The purpose of this interfacing is to generate some thought starters that’ll better leverage our vertical.

  2. What if we use big data to value add for our stakeholders?

  3. We need to jingle the gatekeeper and get the lay of the land.

  4. There’s not enough bandwidth. Not enough bandwidth!

  5. We really need to feed the gorilla.

  6. …without forgetting to roll the tortoise.

  7. We need to peel the onion on some sacred cows and let it drip.

  8. Oh, so we’re just gonna punt on our core competencies now?

  9. Uh, look, I think we’re forgetting to eat the frog.

  10. There’s not enough bandwidth. Not enough bandwidth.

  11. Take it offline.

  12. I don’t mean to polish your apple but I really think we should double down.

  13. Kudos.

  14. If we want leading edge ideation, we need to squeeze the sponge on personal capital.

  15. …remembering we’re trimming the fat.

  16. Hey, this isn’t my first rodeo.

  17. I know, just making sure we’re not trying to square the circle.

  18. Don’t square the circle.

  19. Never square the circle.

  20. Yeah, who’s squaring the circle?

  21. We should not be squaring the circle!

  22. This is my second rodeo!

  23. There’s not enough bandwidth!

  24. Let’s just go back to our offices and d-pad.

  25. What was that meeting about?

  26. Oh, tackling new markets.

  27. Marketplace integration, right?

  28. …widening product use.

  29. Business practices…

  30. Best practices…

  31. I can’t believe how much we’re paid.

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