Sledge Sculpting: Newest Form of Vandalism Embraced By the Art World

by Anthonism

As an art form, sledge sculpting is quickly replacing graffiti as a means to beautify inner city streets worldwide. For some, a pile of rubble signifies deterioration, but for others, it’s a sculpted work of art. Since this latest craze began four days ago, across the nation, violent crimes committed by troubled teens have declined by 0.2% due to the fact it has given our youth an outlet to vent their frustrations while creating something tangible. So, what is sledge sculpting?

“Basically, there is beauty in destroying things,” says Rayes Avandal, a renowned smash artist, “and graffiti has become a cliché.” He continues, “I wanted a fresh way to create art so I picked up a sledge hammer and took to the streets bashing whatever I could until it became a masterpiece.”

Heidi Stroy, founder of I Destroy to Elevate Art (IDEA), had this to say, “Ya know, all someone needs to get started is their favorite brush, like a bat, or sledgehammer, or anything that causes a lot of damage, and a canvas such as a house, or car, or even a tree. Any structure is fair game!” Now the art world has jumped on the bandwagon marked by the prestigious Museum of Modern Artists’ announcement, “We have commissioned IDEA to redesign the exterior of the museum as well as a few of our installations and we hope their sculptors are the beginning of a long state-of-the-art relationship.” “It’s a dream come true,” remarks Stroy. Gnatzo Brite, an immigrant in the neighborhood had this to say, “IDEA remodeled my home and car last night while I was sleeping. These guys do fantastic work!” However, not everyone is as enthusiastic about the new artsy trend. Some property owners are outraged that lawmakers would turn a blind eye towards the destruction of someone’s property in the name of art, but their concerns fall on deaf ears for now. Until a poll is released regarding sledge sculpting, lawmakers refuse to have an opinion on the matter.

When asked if he had a right to use someone’s property as a canvas without their permission, Avandal brazenly rebutted, “No, it’s my duty. I’ve had a hard life and it’s considered art, so, hell yeah it’s okay. It’s not like I’m spray painting people’s walls. That shit is hard to remove! It’s better than killing, raping, or robbing, right? If someone doesn’t like my creation, just rebuild it or rebuy it or replant it and quit complaining.” For now, it has been reported that the dominant response from the majority of people asked if sledge sculpting was acceptable is, “As long as it’s not my property, it don’t bother me none.”

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