Phones...

Help is just a crank collect call away, unless you get hung up on these cell phone faux pas’. So, as you talk-the-talk, dial tone it down a notch as you ring in the new day or the operator will ask you to hold. Before you run out of quarters, minutes, data, or get jailed by your cell, giving this speakeasy rank list a buzz will keep you from being numbered wrong, wiretapped out, and phone jacked up. To avoid being disconnected, don’t be dumb with your not-so-smartphone. It’s a hot line, now answer the call!

“If it's the Psychic Network, why do they need a phone number?” ~ Robin Williams